Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation.  

The time has come. Though I have often argued that I am not addicted to anything, least of all caffeine, I am now proven wrong. I can picture it now: I stand there, adamantly stating that "I am NOT addicted to caffeine! I simply enjoy coffee once in a while. Maybe I love it, but certainly I'm not addicted." In my mind, I can see various people with whom I have argued this.... And here, with the strong potential of witnesses, I admit it. You were right. I was wrong.

ADDICTION, Noun:

an abnormally strong craving 

(now that part, I understand)

the state of being abnormally tolerant to and dependent on something

that is psychologically or physically habit-forming

(Who, me?)

the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or 

to something to such an extent 
that its cessation causes severe trauma. 

(does a two day headache count as severe trauma?)

The condition of being habitually or 
compulsively occupied with or or involved in something.

("habitually" is such an ugly word...) 

  need for and use of a habit-forming substance
characterized by tolerance and
by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal.

(physiological. Now there's a word I haven't heard in a while)

I know, I went a bit overboard on the definitions. But how could I resist the dozens of fantastic adjectives and adverbs provided? To pass up the chance to use such words would have been a travesty.  And there you have it. The last two days have given me what may be the worst headache of my life. It started easily enough.. I woke up one morning, and didn't make coffee. Alas, what consequences that lack of an action brought! I assumed that it would fade eventually. 15 hours later, I hoped that sleep would assuage it. 8 hours after that, I faintly wondered when it would go away. 10 more hours passed, and I knew it wouldn't. A triple shot caramel macchiato barely touched it. Two more shots of espresso, and it vanished. I, being the logical, calmly thinking person that I am... (ha!), know exactly what you other logical people are thinking... "Shouldn't she NOT have had coffee if she knows it's the cause of headaches?" Well, in fact, I was having coffee to be sure that it was indeed a caffeine headache. After all, it could have been a brain tumor. Or possibly a concussion. Perhaps a subdural hemorrhage. Maybe even cardiac arrest. (well, maybe not that, but you get the idea)

However, I am now nearly certain that caffeine is my culprit. Or rather, the lack thereof. No more will I fruitlessly argue that I have never been addicted to caffeine. Now, I have a choice to make: I can either deal with the headaches for a few days (hopefully not weeks) and then make sure I don't drink coffee every day, OR... I can go on shamelessly savoring latte after latte. Grande. Venti. Whatever size I want.

Sadly, though, I am one of those people who hates the idea of being that dependent on anything, let alone a lame little chemical addiction. Ergo, my decision:  Somehow, some way, I will have to reduce my macchiato happiness to only every other day. I am still trying to decide if Paris is caffeinated enough to also be banned.(perish the thought!)

For those of you who are not weeping for me by now, here are some quotes to bring it home...

No one can understand the truth until he drinks 

of coffee's frothy goodness.  

~Sheik Abd-al-Kadir

A morning without coffee is like sleep. 

Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend.

The morning cup of coffee has an exhilaration about it 

which the cheering influence of the afternoon 

or evening cup of tea cannot be expected to reproduce. 

~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

Need I say more?

 

When Breaks the Dawn

This morning brings with it the anticipation of wonderful things. At the moment, my hands are frozen, because I have just spent a lovely 45 minutes outside, watching the sun rise. The second that the last drop of coffee disappeared (goodness, I have no idea how that happened...) my brain decided that keeping warm wasn't a good idea. Therefore, please excuse any typos. I'm finding that typing with stiff fingers ends in frustration.
But I digress.
After seeing the mountain turn various shades of gold, blue, and violet, I got bored with trying to take pictures of it. Apparently, my little camera doesn't like to actually capture the mountain as it really is. (it takes a mammoth snow covered hill, and reduces it to a teensy, cloudy blob that looks much further away than it is) So, I (in a very sneaky manner, I assure you) went and got mom's camera, hoping for better results. Nope. Which leaves me to conclude one thing-- I lack the finesse required to get a good shot of the mountain. Of course, the tree in the way brings me some comfort. Also, I'm trying to convince you that we really do have a fantastic view of the mountain from our deck... I simply can't manage to get it on film.
Though I enjoyed solitude for the most part, I was eventually joined by several others. Namely, too many squirrels. I have often expressed my dislike for these grimy rat-relatives, and that still stands. They disgust me. They are far too bold. Anyhow, they dashed around the trees, chasing each other and chattering loudly. However, a much more welcome visitor was a blue jay, that nearly took a year off of my life when he came skyrocketing out of the bushes. I felt like he should've had a japanese accent, a red headband, and been screaming "Kamikaze!" Now, wouldn't that have made a good picture!

The Papa's Sermons....

Sovereign Grace Baptist Church Sermons page.

It's three in the morning... You really think that I could come up with a good title at this hour?

I have nothing else creative left in me. It is 3:10 a.m, and I should be sleeping. When I get tired, I become over-contemplative. Also, words like "emotional" and "insecure" and "moody" come to mind... Basically, when I'm lacking in sleep, mood swings are sure to follow.
I've been thinking through so many things recently, that I'm not even sure what to blog about. Of course, that's never stopped me before, so I'll give it my best shot. I have enjoyed blissful absolute silence for the last three hours, and hopefully will be able to actually sleep when I'm done here.
Anyone who talks to me moderately often already knows this, but for those of you who don't.... Recently, my uncle edited a puritan devotional, called "Voices From The Past."  As it just so happens, it's out of stock everywhere. Also, it recently made the CVBBS current bestsellers list... But those are extraneous facts that aren't pertinent to what i'm saying. (I just am tickled pink about the whole bestsellers thing, so what better place to say it than on my blog?) And now for the semi-pertinent facts... I got the book for Christmas, and have been reading out of it. A few days ago, I read something that was actually just what I needed at the time. Apparently, it's still exactly what I need... Why else would it come to mind at this time of night?

So, here are a few parts of it.

      But seek ye first the kingdom of God,

and his righteousness,

 and all these things will be added unto you.

Matthew 6:33

Until we get our hearts out of the world, how easily our hearts are carried away with the thoughts of earthly concerns. Until we can separate and purge our spirits, how we mingle our prayers with many ridiculous thoughts.....we should always labour to get our hearts above the world into the presence of God, as if we were by Him in heaven, and wholly swallowed up with His glory. Though our bodies are on earth, our spirits should be in heaven. Until we get above the mists of the world, we can see nothing of clearness and comfort; but when we can get God and our hearts together, then we can see there is much in the fountain, though nothing in the stream; and though little on earth, yet we have a God in heaven. This is our great aim, to be with God in heaven. His residence is there, and we seek that our hearts might be there. We have liberty to ask supplies for the outward life, but chiefly we should ask spiritual and heavenly things. .... it is far more pleasing to Him when we ask for grace. In every prayer we should seek to be made more heavenly minded by conversing with our heavenly Father.

---Thomas Manton, Works, I:60-62

Ed: Richard Rushing

uber-edited by me.

Well, there you have it. My thought, or rather Manton's thought, for the evening. Now, I'm hoping to go to sleep. With any luck, no one will feel the need to wake me up before noon.

The Best of Times

Today was one of the best days that I have had in a long time, so of course it is a necessity for me to blog about it.... right?

Started out nicely, talking to friends, and making sure no harm came to Sarah Grace while she slept. Later in the day, I had the good fun of meeting with a lovely group of young women at Starbucks, for a sort of Christmas coffee get together. Quite nice.

When I got home, my papa says "Oh, you look so elegant, I feel like I should be taking you out somewhere!" And, since mom was busy with prep for her dinner, and the opportunity to flee for a while looked good, he did.
We started out heading toward Seattle, and of course I talked nearly the whole way. Bless papa's heart, he just listened, nodding at the appropriate times, and dropping a few comments here and there. I know very few people easier to talk to than him. Luckily, he also doesn't seem phased by random emotional breakdowns, or by me throwing myself into one of his office chairs and saying something like "Do you know what just makes me SICK!?" at a high volume. But I digress. When we made it to Seattle, papa pointed out various landmarks of interest.... i.e. the space needle and the seattle skyline.. :-)  and we drove along fifth avenue. "Look, em, there's the fifth avenue theater!" It was quite fun.
After winding our way through seattle, and taking the occasional Christmass-y snapshot, I have come to at least two conclusions. These are: First, that I absolutely MUST buy a pair of classy black boots. I deeply regret that I didn't do it years ago. Second, that Seattle is a culture all it's own. So many fascinating people and outfits. One too many gay guys, but overall quite interesting. When the lack of parking was made completely clear, we drove past the space needle, and headed towards Bellevue. That's right, two major shopping cities in one evening. I never thought I'd see the day when papa and I were roaming around the Bellevue Square Mall with Starbucks in our hands, but that day has come. After standing in much too long of a line, we snatched our drinks and hit the shops. Well, I hit the shops, while papa patiently waited outside each one. Ann Taylor, Teavana, Godiva, Claire's, to name a few. To my great chagrin, Old Navy was NOT among the "hit shops." So sad. If there really is an Old Navy in that mall, I'd appreciate it if someone would tell me. I absolutely need to buy a pair of those 7 dollar pajama pants. Anyhow, I am also fascinated by the Bellevue world. It too has a culture of it's own. It is a world where nine year old boys in front of me in line at Starbucks order their caffeinated drinks while texting on an Iphone. (that's right, a nine year old boy with an iphone.) A world where the baristas can be rude to you, because they know you will still buy your drinks there, and because they are really too busy to provide quality service. (right?) A world where every other person you see is wearing four inch  spikes, holding a coffee in one hand, and a cellphone in the other, all the while balancing about a dozen shopping bags. (yes, i'll admit that at times I am that person)  A world where the line from santa clause stretches all the way to the line from starbucks. A world where the twelve year old girls are dressed like eighteen year olds. All in all, I had a lot of fun watching not only the other people there, but also my papa's reaction to those people. After buying a satisfactory amount of big, statement-piece earrings, I decided I was done... Now what? Now we head for the parking garage. But of course, we wander around the southeast parking garage for fifteen minutes, then discover that our truck is in the northeast parking garage. Back through Macy's, back past Excalibur, and back past Santa. There it is! A nice drive home, and what do we find?
A very loud, highly volatile group of women. Volatile in the sense that the slightest thing sends all of them into unbelievably vocal laughter. Three of them are my aunts, another is my mother, and the other three are just as loud as my family. I walked in, heard the words "hot flashes" followed by loud bursts of laughter, and decided that I'd better just head to the back room. In the back room, what do I find but Uncle Frank reclining on the couch, surrounded by pillows, and watching Prince Caspian. (that movie just keeps turning up!) He looks at me, and says "I've been treated like a king! How were the Christmas lights?" That's when I notice the plate of cheese, crackers, and kalamata olives. Also a plate that looks like it held pasta and shrimp at one point. Not to mention the plate that is holding the mint brownie. Yep, he's been treated like a king alright! :-)
So, after that, on went Leona Lewis, and then came the cleaning of the room. Yes, my friends, I sit up at this late hour with a great sense of somethingness. I've managed three starbucks in one day (and seen six more in Seattle), gotten a room cleaned, hit both Bellevue and Seattle, had a fantastic time with papa (I think we've started a new tradition) met a few wonderful people who could potentially become close friends, survived mom's dinner party, and may even end up getting some sleep tonight! All in all, one of the best days I've had all month. If you made it this far, I am quite impressed. Thanks for listening to my happy ramblings.

Of Good Tidings

Obviously, there is one thing that simply must be blogged about today, and that is... (drum roll, please) Christmas!! Christmas, and everything that entails. Of course, there are the things that go along with the holiday, in a secular sense, but most importantly, the birth of Christ, which often gets lost in the shuffle. If I'd been in the service on Sunday, I would probably have much more to say, but as it was, all I heard was "So here are three points I would like to make about the significance of Christ's birth for the believer" before the nursery called. I ended up cuddling Abigail, and watching two other little ones instead of hearing what I'm sure was a fantastic, convicting sermon.

Sunday morning found us with the annual Christmas Coffee Hour, which means that instead of having sunday school, more people than usual come and partake of "good things" such as cranberry bliss bars, petite vanilla bean scones, cranberry orange scones, and, of course, Lattes! Rachel and I pack up our espresso machines, (which are not "latte machines", as some people call them) and bring them up to the church. Typically, Rachel would do the greater portion of the work, with me pulling shots, but this year things were a bit different. Mom took Rachel's place. At first, I will admit that the thought made me a bit panicky. However, she assured me that "I have been making lattes since before you were born!", which is indeed true. In fact, she was somewhat ahead of the "latte craze", and had an espresso machine long before they were popular. But apparently things have changed a bit since 1981. While beforehand, I was only "a bit panicky," by the time I looked over and saw her espresso machine quite literally spraying coffee everywhere, it had spiraled into an all-out terror. Luckily, we figured out a decent system, and managed to provide everyone with what I hope were palatable drinks. To my great disappointment, only one person wanted a caramel macchiato, so I was forced to bring home the remaining caramel sauce for my personal use. (and of course, this troubles me greatly)
All things considered, Sunday morning came off capitally.
Let's see, we've covered the past tense, now for the present...
Martha, one of my mom's sisters, is at our house with Uncle Frank, and they'll stay until Christmas morning. Tonight, mom is having one of her cackle club meetings. I know, I know, a statement like that requires an explanation, so let me attempt one. Mom and her sisters have some very close friends that they've known for years. They don't see each other very often, but when they do get together, the only word I can use to describe it is "loud." Also, words like "boisterous" and "cacophonous" come to mind. Basically, good healthy fun. Imagine seven or eight women, sitting around after a fantastic dinner. One of them says something that isn't really amusing, but the other six or seven think that it is the most hilarious thing they have ever heard. And thus, we have the cackle club. Laughter takes on a new meaning with them. In the past, my habit has been to flee for the whole evening, while papa does the same, but this year I've been called upon to make lattes for them. I'm sure that throwing caffeine and sugar into the mix will only calm them down... oh. Perhaps not. Anyhow, I think I'll stick around long enough to say hi to Aunt Michele and Aunt Sue, then I'll take shelter.

As for the rest of this week, we are following our typical Christmas traditions. Aunt Sandie will fly in on Christmas eve, and fly out on Christmas morning. We'll get together at Grandma's on Christmas Eve, then Christmas morning will belong to just my immediate family. The thought makes me smile. Family, Stockings, Babies, Quiche, Gifts, Tea, etc.

Naturally, I could go on for much longer, but I have some things to get done before the day is out. And so, I leave you with this...

Joy Unspeakable

I would love to give a long, wordy explanation, but I don't feel that one is necessary. So, for once in my life, I will keep it short...


About 40 hours ago, I saw the most amazing event of my life. I watched my niece, Abigail Dianne, be born. I cried then, and tears come to my eyes now, just thinking about it. She was the first person I've ever seen born, and I can't believe what an experience it was to see someone take their first breath. Rachel did an amazing job, and congratulations to her and Nathan!

December 14, 2009
11:30 p.m.
19 1/2 inches long
7lbs, 4 oz.

"Praise the Lord, oh my soul, 
and all my inmost being,
Praise His holy name!"

A piece or two of poetry...

After my last post, which was so wordy, I felt like I should put up something a bit more lighthearted. So, in an attempt to maintain a balance, here we go....

I was going through some things, and I found these poems, and realized that I really liked them.  If you don't like it, tell me... Next time i'll put up something different.

First, from Cowper...

"Contemplate, when the sun declines,
Thy death, with deep reflection,
And when again he rising shines,
Thy day of resurrection!"

And, not from Cowper, the slightly less well-written...

This time of night I think of you,
As sun melts into moon--
I'm wond'ring if you're safe tonight,
And if I'll see you soon.

I watch the sunset wash away,
I hear the music fade,
And as the colors turn to black,
I dearly wish you'd stayed.

It's midnight now, and yet I wait,
Just longing for your face,
And wishing I could speed up time,
Until your sweet embrace.

It's such a cliched song, I know,
Of longing, love, and pain,
And yet, despite it's over-use,
The meaning still remains.

Although I know you won't show up,
Or come for me tonight,
I nonetheless cry out for you--
And weep 'til morning's light. 


And a cheerful one...

A Russian who danced the gavotte
On the deck of an Englishman's yacht
Lost his balance and drowned
And was buried on ground
In what's known as a Communist Plot.

And finally....

Two brothers named Wong couldn't quite
Pull off their first aeroplane flight
When their rig crashed and burned
They finally learned
Two Wongs never could make a Wright.