Something Borrowed

Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation.  

The time has come. Though I have often argued that I am not addicted to anything, least of all caffeine, I am now proven wrong. I can picture it now: I stand there, adamantly stating that "I am NOT addicted to caffeine! I simply enjoy coffee once in a while. Maybe I love it, but certainly I'm not addicted." In my mind, I can see various people with whom I have argued this.... And here, with the strong potential of witnesses, I admit it. You were right. I was wrong.

ADDICTION, Noun:

an abnormally strong craving 

(now that part, I understand)

the state of being abnormally tolerant to and dependent on something

that is psychologically or physically habit-forming

(Who, me?)

the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or 

to something to such an extent 
that its cessation causes severe trauma. 

(does a two day headache count as severe trauma?)

The condition of being habitually or 
compulsively occupied with or or involved in something.

("habitually" is such an ugly word...) 

  need for and use of a habit-forming substance
characterized by tolerance and
by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal.

(physiological. Now there's a word I haven't heard in a while)

I know, I went a bit overboard on the definitions. But how could I resist the dozens of fantastic adjectives and adverbs provided? To pass up the chance to use such words would have been a travesty.  And there you have it. The last two days have given me what may be the worst headache of my life. It started easily enough.. I woke up one morning, and didn't make coffee. Alas, what consequences that lack of an action brought! I assumed that it would fade eventually. 15 hours later, I hoped that sleep would assuage it. 8 hours after that, I faintly wondered when it would go away. 10 more hours passed, and I knew it wouldn't. A triple shot caramel macchiato barely touched it. Two more shots of espresso, and it vanished. I, being the logical, calmly thinking person that I am... (ha!), know exactly what you other logical people are thinking... "Shouldn't she NOT have had coffee if she knows it's the cause of headaches?" Well, in fact, I was having coffee to be sure that it was indeed a caffeine headache. After all, it could have been a brain tumor. Or possibly a concussion. Perhaps a subdural hemorrhage. Maybe even cardiac arrest. (well, maybe not that, but you get the idea)

However, I am now nearly certain that caffeine is my culprit. Or rather, the lack thereof. No more will I fruitlessly argue that I have never been addicted to caffeine. Now, I have a choice to make: I can either deal with the headaches for a few days (hopefully not weeks) and then make sure I don't drink coffee every day, OR... I can go on shamelessly savoring latte after latte. Grande. Venti. Whatever size I want.

Sadly, though, I am one of those people who hates the idea of being that dependent on anything, let alone a lame little chemical addiction. Ergo, my decision:  Somehow, some way, I will have to reduce my macchiato happiness to only every other day. I am still trying to decide if Paris is caffeinated enough to also be banned.(perish the thought!)

For those of you who are not weeping for me by now, here are some quotes to bring it home...

No one can understand the truth until he drinks 

of coffee's frothy goodness.  

~Sheik Abd-al-Kadir

A morning without coffee is like sleep. 

Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend.

The morning cup of coffee has an exhilaration about it 

which the cheering influence of the afternoon 

or evening cup of tea cannot be expected to reproduce. 

~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

Need I say more?