The last few months have been hard. Probably some of the hardest in my life. So many things have been going on, each one lasting a long time and overlapping with everything else. Many of my friends are also going through hard times, and there have been days when I wondered if it would ever end. Yesterday I found I needed to get away for a time, so I headed up into the mountains by myself. The solitude was slightly unwelcome, but the peaceful moments by the river were just the opposite. That wasn't enough, however, so I headed back down and went to Snoqualmie Falls... Lots of driving time, but beautiful scenery on both routes.
While I was watching the falls, there was really no one else around...smart people wait til it's warm and sunny to go stand by a waterfall... so I stayed there for quite some time. Just taking some pictures, thinking, praying, etc. I found myself leaning over the railing, staring straight down into the rocks. But not once did I think that the wood and iron would give way beneath me. That struck me as odd. Here I was, leaning all my weight on something designed and made by someone I didn't know. For all I know, they could have been off their meds the day they worked on it. Or maybe they got fired the next day for sloppy work. But the bottom line is, I was trusting complete strangers with my life. I was trusting that whoever they were, they knew their job and how to make a railing sturdy. I believed, though I had absolutely no basis for it, they would not let me fall.
We do that every day in a million ways. We assume that whoever built our houses knew how to make a roof that wouldn't fall down on our heads. Until a structure proves otherwise, we trust it will hold us. We don't expect that a bridge will give way as we drive over it. (Well, I do, but that's because I'm slightly gephyrophobic) We trust complete strangers with our physical safety every day.
I just thought it was interesting how willing we are to not think twice about leaning against a railing or going up stairs we've never been up before, yet how unwilling we are to trust in God the same way. It makes even less sense when you think about the fact that God has continually proven over and over again that He is the most powerful Being, the Sovereign one. He has held me over and over again, and yet so frequently I hesitate to trust Him. He is the only constant in my life that has never changed.
I found myself ashamed as I realized my lack of trust. It's a simple thing, leaning against a railing. I've done it before without contemplating whoever built the railing, and I don't know why yesterday all of this struck me so much. It might not be profound, but for me it was a helpful reminder. People around us can and do desert us, hurt us, and lie to us. But God is not like that: He has never let me go, and He has never left me on my own. There are days it doesn't feel as amazing as the day before, but the facts remain the same. Psalm 139 talks about how He is there, before and behind us, and how He leads us and holds us. Psalm 9:10 says He has not forsaken those who seek Him. Not only that, there have been many many times where I have not been seeking Him and following Him as I ought, yet in His grace and mercy He still has not forsaken me.
I needed this reminder, despite the weird context of it, that God has always drawn near. I owe Him everything, and I will work harder to give things over to Him.
I trust in my God because He is unchanging, holy, sovereign, and loving. I trust Him because He is perfect and keeps His promises. He has never forsaken me and never will. Those are simply facts. Whatever I feel is temporary; my emotions change with the wind. But what I know is this: My God has been constant and I trust Him.
He has never let me fall. And He never will.
